Of Lessons Learned: Living the First Half of My 20s

Just when we thought we’ve learned enough in life, we come to realize that we still have so much of growing up to do. Lessons learned from mistakes and wisdom gained from success, combined together, will never be enough. And with each challenging moment, hard or easy, we change. We change whether we like it or not.

It may seem unnoticeable but a great number of people has goals of making their existence in this lifetime difficult to summarize.

Alone or with company, a lot are willing to travel and explore the world as evidenced by countless ‘Instagrammable’ photos. Some would pursue higher education to further their knowledge while others get married and start having families of their own. We never stop trying to get better and while doing so, our view of the world changes.

As we grow up, we always imagine our best friends and closest family members to always be there for us. And surely they will be, but only at a certain extent. Their unwavering support will always be there: cheering for you in every achievement you make and comforting you in every fall you take. However, each one of us is fighting their own battle. As you age, it is important that you figure that out.

I have friends I miss. I think of the good old days when we would impulsively hang out by the beach and make fun memories that are worth remembering. I also have connections with people whom I miss back in my hometown. The connection is still there but the emotions I felt when I established all those relationships with them are now mere flashbacks. Something I gladly look back each time something reminds me of each one of them. Living away from all these people and exploring a new place doesn’t make them less valuable just because they are not near me. I am very much happy realizing what distance has done and that is, creating new sets of values.

When you are on your own, you go in circles scrutinizing people, deciding who is going to be there in case things go wrong. Who to call when you need to be bailed out of jail. Who are worth calling friends and who are just plainly colleagues. You’ll go contemplating whether the place you are staying now will be the same place where you’ll settle for the rest of your life. Whether you are satisfied at where you are right now and if you should seek other opportunities. You’ll wonder about the people you love. Will your best friends be happy with who they choose to be with? How and where will your siblings and parents be years from now? Will you stay single for the rest of your life? Or is he or she the right person you’ll be spending your eternity with?

I guess of all these questions, what I’ve been trying to figure out is this, ‘Where I’ll see myself fit in the equation? What is really important to me?’

I realized that surviving is not about creating a preconceived notion of who among my friends will be willing to do this much for me. Neither is it a description of what I should expect from a partner or a picture of what type of family I should be creating in the near future. The reality is, things do happen for a reason and while it may take a long time to figure this out, people will unexpectedly come into your life and fit like missing puzzle pieces. Situations, bad or good, happen. This leads you to places that are beneficial to your growth and you set yourself free from all the insecurities brought upon by other’s success. Yours will be of a different cause, of a different purpose, and most importantly, of a different pace. You just have to keep if not constantly restore your faith and try to be more patient. Be really really patient.

In life, you cannot force things. Do your best, keep an open mind, be confident of how and what you are, let go of being stubborn, try to work out your impatience, accept that there will always be things you know nothing about, learn how to genuinely apologize if you’ve wronged someone, go with the flow, do others no harm in as much as possible, and the rest will follow. At the very least, all you can do is enjoy each moment and brace yourself for all the surprises that’s yet to come.